The daily practice of Living a Life of Non- Attachment

I have always felt that the challenges we experience are there ultimately as lessons but I have the hardest time accepting this in the moment and looking at it in a positive way.   I don’t know about you but when I am in a challenging situation that is all I can think about and my mind tends to lean towards negative rather than positive.  I think that is probably the natural inclination.    Instead of trying to force myself into positive thought I try to practice staying in that space of observation until I can bring myself to a neutral perspective.  Again not always easy in the moment.  

Awareness to my thoughts and actions from a neutral perspective takes continued practice.    It first takes a recognition that the behavior exists inside of me without thinking there is something wrong with me.   This can be huge.   When I have been able to step away from this idea of fixing and correcting and instead have moved myself into a place of observing and practicing I am able to feel my own balance.  It is a practice for sure and I am not short on the amount of challenges that come my way that allow me to notice, observe and practice.  

So the question becomes how can we cultivate a practice in non-attachment and why it is so critical for our own evolution?

It is so important to view non-attachment as a practice and as a choice because it allows us to open the path to choosing our life in each and every moment.

To me it seems like it should be easy this practice in non-attachment.  I should be able to remove myself from thoughts, actions, outcomes or situations.   And then I realize the immense difficulty of this practice in the world we live in.   The practice of non-attachment takes time and discipline.  The fist step in this practice is being able to observe the thoughts completely and fully.  This is a big first step and could take a lifetime.   I can’t say I have mastered it yet or I know many people who have either.  What I can say is it has gotten easier for me over time.   I continually am able to observe my thoughts moment to moment and it is in that moment that I am making a choice to attach or not attach.  Do I allow the thought to become my focus or I am able to let it pass by?   This becomes the place where the story or narrative can take us on a  journey.  Ever have a thought and all of sudden you notice you have created an entire story around the thought and allowed yourself to believe it to be true before it has actually happened?   It happens for me.  I have noticed that the quicker I am able to redirect the story to bring it back to reality the easier it becomes to work into the practice of non-attachment. 

When I don’t allow myself to move into the story or the meaning of it I am practicing non-attachment.   To let an experience be an experience.  To let a moment be a moment to not hold tightly to what it means or what it could become.    Our ability to do this over and over again is what creates the patterning and the discipline.   A retraining of our thinking and thought patterns takes time.  

I want to give an example as it relates to our work as yoga teachers.   One of the biggest attachments as a yoga teacher can be to what do people think of me and my teaching.  The question of is it good enough?   This is quite simple and also quite complex.    The attachment to feedback and to validation.   The biggest question most of us can hold for ourselves, is it good enough which actually translates to am I good enough?   So how can we move away from this and into a place of non-attachment.  We can start by staying in observation during the times when we notice ourselves wondering if it was good enough?   To observe the thoughts that cylce through and to see if we can stay with the present moment rather than creating a future narrative.  The future narrative only strengthens the attachment but the present moment is free from attachment. And what is real and concrete is that we don’t know what people think or if it was good enough unless we ask the direct question and even then we are receiving a single opinion.     We can be attached to someone saying that was great and we can be attached to someone saying that was not great.  Both are future narratives or attachment based on outcome.   So the practice becomes staying in the space of observation and practicing neutrality.    Knowing it takes time and compassionately allowing your own progress to be enough.   

One exercise I find helpful is to write out all the ways you notice attachment in your day to day.  Observe the things you are attached to, the people, the experiences, the outcomes.   Bring yourself into full awareness of where you are attached and don’t be afraid to clearly identify each of them.   This exercise can be helpful when entering into these situations.   When we write out the areas of attachment it makes them concrete and real and may allow us to move through them more efficiently.  You may notice that you find it difficult to identify these areas because you have been avoiding them for so long.  This is normal.   Most of our attachments are hidden below the surface.  We have covered them up for so long that we have lost the ability to see them clearly. It may take some time to really be clear on what comes to the surface for you and how you can look to explore and connect with it.   

Try it and let me know what you think.

So why is non-attachment so critical for our own evolution?  It allows us to stand fully and completely in our own power.  To be our source of freedom and to be able to choose our life fully in every single moment.  

When we are no longer held back by attachment and we have the ability to choose in each and every moment we become able to experience the moment for what it is.  There is no longer this weight of expectation.  We are not equating our choices with outcomes or results.   A choice becomes a choice in the moment.  I like to look at it this way, I am choosing to take the right next step.   I am not attached to where it will lead me or what it will fully look like.  It is the right next step and if I am truly in this place it is not possible to have attachment.    

So to answer the looming question is a life of non-attachment really possible? 

Yes I believe it is possible and I believe it takes time.  Life is often that continuous flow of being in and out of attachment.  My intention for a life with non-attachment is that it can be there most of the time.  Knowing that there will be times when it is not and reminding myself that I can be okay with that too.  That I can honor the rise and fall of both.    That I don’t equate one to being better than but that I hold equal time and space for both.  In order to move myself into more of a space of non-attachment I require this patience with myself.  I require taking a step back at times and acknowledging all the factors that are present.    

So the question is how does it show up for you?  Are you able to practice non-attachment or do you choose to practice non-attachment?   What is showing up in the unknown spaces and how do you explore it?