The gift of Adapatability and Intentional Listening

This month I have been intentionally pausing and slowing down for reflection and with that I have stepped into the practice of adaptability and intentional listening.  

What does it mean when we are adaptable?  The definition of adaptable states:able to adjust to new conditions or able to modify for new use or purpose.   Let’s face it, it is hard to adjust to new conditions when life is continually changing.   Our ability to adjust to new conditions is like using a muscle.  It requires repetitive practice over and over again.    For some of us new conditions are present all the time and for some of us things stay pretty routine.   The first part of this is to ask yourself where you fall in this space.  If you notice that your conditions are pretty stagnant then you will have to decide if you want to adjust the conditions and if your conditions are continually changing then it is important to decide how much change you are able to receive in this moment.   Neither is right or wrong and we have all probably experienced both at one point.    

Try to Bring honest awareness to your current situation and move from that place.   

I do believe the more adaptable we are the less suffering we experience.  Most of our suffering comes from the space of expectations and wanting things to be the way they once were or moving too far into the future and fantasizing about how things could be.  

When things change and are new and we are unable to adapt we create resistance and this resistance ultimately leads to suffering. 

I will use the example of a yoga teacher planning to teach a class.  

Let’s say you are scheduled to teach a class and you make a plan.   You write out the entire sequence and you practice it.   And then you arrive to the class and you realize that most of the people will not be able to do what you had planned.  Maybe they have injuries or they have never practiced yoga before.  The question becomes do you continue to move forward with your plan or do you change your plan to meet the needs of those in the room?   This is a choice you have.  The comfortable choice is to go with the plan it is already there, it is laid out because you know what to expect.   The uncomfortable choice is to change the plan and walk into the space of not knowing with people in front of you.   And I will say this is not black and white and one is not right or wrong.   I know the example seems basic but what I want to highlight is there are certainly other factors that go into this decision.    How comfortable do you feel as a teacher?  How are you feeling in that moment?  What would it feel like to not go by the plan?   

These are some of the questions you can practice asking yourself.    

The more we play around with these questions and practice them the more we are able to feel into the space of change.  Being adaptable requires us to be comfortable with change.  It requires us to be uncomfortable with letting go of the plan.  Most importantly it requires us to to be comfortable with ourselves and to listen.  So from this we can decide if we are ready to do something differently or not.   Again one is not better than the other.  More than this is your own recognition and awareness to why or what you might be resisting.

As I have said adaptability is another practice.  And with practice comes patience and mindful observation.    

So how does intentional listening come into play. Intentional listening to me is two parts.  It is how we listen internal to ourselves to know when to adapt to a situation and when to stay the course and it is also the way in which we show up to listen to others.   

Internal listening requires first and foremost stillness. It then requires a deeper level of awareness with the self.  What am I listening for or who I am listening to? How will I know when the right answer arrives for me?  How do I know whether I should stay the course or choose differently?

So in the example I provided of having a yoga class planned and realizing the plan is not suited for the participants, I would only know this if I was intentionally listening.  First it requires me to be tuned into myself.  To be willing to honestly look at the situation and trust what is coming up.   Am I giving it space to come to the surface without wanting it to be right or perfect? 

Second it would require me to check in with the students, to ask them questions about how they are feeling, what they are looking for or require in the practice.   Having awareness to their level of experience and to receive what they are saying. 

Listening to others is a practice.  I know for myself this has taken a great deal of awareness and reflection.   We as human beings are inclined to speak first and listen second.  We even can forget to listen at all.   To truly listen to someone means we are present.  We are not thinking of what to say next or providing a fix.  We are just listening.  Hearing.  Seeing.   Witnessing.   

If you have never done this practice before I would encourage you to have a conversation with someone and try to be aware of how often you speak vs. listen.  Try to practice just listening.  Do not offer any advice or solutions to what the person is saying.  Do not try to agree or compare just simply listen and observe.  Let yourself really see the other person.  Hear their words and notice what it feels like when there is silence.  Does it make you uncomfortable?  Does it make the other person uncomfortable?

Silence is powerful and it can also be the scariest place, especially if we have chosen to avoid it. 

For me the practice of intentional listening has brought a deeper sense of awareness into my own spaces of discomfort.  I find the spaces where I choose to speak and offer a response are not always required.   When I am in this space of intentional listening I also find it easier to call upon my own adaptability and strength.  To observe a situation in silence gives me the space to respond differently.  To consciously choose the path of adaptability is different then forcing myself into it or allowing someone else to choose it for me.  

The most important part of  adaptability and intentional listening is that we find our own way in. 

So I share my own experience with you just as a perspective.   When I started teaching Yoga I would write out all my classes and have the perfect plan.  What I noticed for myself is I was scared of forgetting or not doing it right.  In this place of fear I shut down my internal listening.  My voice of truth and creativity.  I also shut down my adaptability.   As I started to let go of the plan and listen to myself and the students in the room I was able to regain this trust.  It took time and continues to be ongoing.   I  practice showing up in the space with an idea and then surrendering to what is present in front of me.  A careful dance that allows for a magical opening. 

I look forward to hearing the ways in which you continue to show up from a place of adaptability and to tap into the power of listening.  To me true listening is an untapped power we all can access a little bit more.