Why is it so hard to trust myself on the things that matter most?

This whole thing with trust seems so confusing.   I trust myself with the little things and the easy things but when it comes to fully trusting my heart that feels so impossible.  

There are so many patterns and stories in my life that I trust myself to repeat when I know for sure they are not aligned with my heart and soul.  So why do I trust myself to do them over and over again?

I have had to pause many times and ask myself that question.  This false system of trust I have created with myself is real and alive.

Allowing myself to believe my own truth. The perfect example of trust. 

I could go on forever believing the lies I tell myself. 

Except for those times when the request to trust is something new. When I have never been in the situation before. When it feels uncomfortable.  How do I trust myself then?  

How do I know the choice I am making is true to my heart?

I share my personal practice of trust with you not as something to replicate but as an example to discover within yourself.

So here it is, simple and effective!

I always pause and I feel my breath. I ask for sensation to appear in my body confirming my decision to trust or not trust.  

I sit alone with myself and I ask my heart what it needs.

I have learned to know what a yes feels like in my body not in my mind.

Then I move forward.

Here comes the honesty. 

There are times when I follow this process,  I fully trust myself and I go a different direction.

And there are times when the outcome isn’t at all what I expected, so it feels like my trust loses value. 

What is that all about?

To me it’s about learning through experience and finding your own path. Knowing you are not perfect.  Confirming a deeper lesson of your soul.  

Trust is not perfection but it is there to have and to practice.  

Just as the shore trusts the waves will wash it clean we must trust our hearts to open and guide us forward by the choices that speak directly to the soul.