A Practice in Confidence: Identifying your Top Five Triggers

I have been pondering my thoughts on confidence this month.   As I prepare to launch a Free Webinar on November 9th around personally advocating for yourself it got me thinking….why does it feel so hard sometimes.   Shouldn’t it be easy to feel confident in who you are.  To value ourselves fully and completely.   

Although I feel like it should be the truth is it simply is not.  

We could certainly point the blame in so many different directions.  From culture to belief systems to families and at the end of the day we are still left with ourselves. 

To look ourselves in the mirror and to be honest.  Do I feel absolute confident with myself.   It is an honest question.  

For me the answer is not always the same.  It fluctuates.   I have come to terms with that being okay.

What is more important is that I make the connection back to myself and I understand WHY.  When I do this I better understand myself and my patterns. 

One practice I am sharing that I love is to identify my triggers and work with them in a dance.  So it is organic and fluid.  It is not forceful and contracted. 

The Question for you:  What are some of the triggers that cause my confidence to be lower or higher?

I have identified my top 5 Triggers below:

# 1: What other people are thinking about me

#2: Not feeling enough

#3: Lack of sleep, food and movement 

#4: Other people’s unsolicited comments

#5: Judgments and Comparisons

As I have walked through and identified my top five triggers it has allowed me to be as honest as possible with myself.

So how does this go…

I walk into a situation and I notice that my confidence feels low, I check in with each of these.  And I honestly evaluate if one feels out of balance.   

This place of true self awareness reveals to me where and how I can make shifts within myself.   Maybe I can’t change one of these triggers in the moment and that is okay.  What I can do is identify it and know that it is temporary.   

This gives me clarity.  It allows me to recognize it is just a moment and sometimes I can then move into acceptance and back into confidence. 

Others times I stay in the place of acceptance.
What I have found to be most beneficial in gaining my confidence back is honesty with myself first and compassion with myself second. 

I have within myself the power to have confidence.  To feel confident.  I control that.   The triggers I have identified for myself are all outside of me.   They have the power to have temporary control but only if I allow them.   

So I have found my practice is essential. It is required of me again and again.  Even when it feels complete I know it is just beginning.   

Although I want to believe confidence should be easy and more people should experience it, I also know it is not. 

I offer this practice of identifying your top five triggers and then being aware of them as they arise.  It is a daily practice.  One in which there is no arrival and there certainly is no perfect. 
Invite yourself into a dance with confidence.  Explore. Play. 

See what unfolds.