How to Approach Gift Giving over the Holiday Season

Well here we are moving into the official first week of December and last month of the year. Of course this month can bring up so much and one of the biggest things that can come up this time of year is spending money.

How do we honor ourselves through the practice of gift giving?

This time can certainly be stressful and often times intense when it comes to figuring out how or when to spend money.  There is so much that can arise in the form of guilt and obligation. What we should be doing versus what we really want to do.

As I have walked deeper on my own personal path and my understanding of my finances I have found that it has been a gift to approach holiday spending from a place of personal understanding and compassion. 

When I do this I come back to myself. I am trusting myself and giving myself the gift of integrity and grace.

I think there are many elements to gift giving and spending money that we often overlook especially at certain times of the year.  Allowing ourselves to do or make decisions based on impulse versuses taking the time to understand what we really require or want. 

And so as I sit with this once again I wanted to share an approach for gift giving that has been helpful and supportive in my relationship to money and spending. 

I have broken them down into a list of four:

# 1- Understanding my own personal relationship to gifts. 

Do I want to receive gifts or expect to receive gifts.  This is not good or bad it is just a part of knowing yourself.   I am the only one that knows the truth to this. It is so critical to be honest in this process and then to be accepting of myself especially if it looks different than what someone else might desire. We always get to choose and our relationship to gifts is a beautiful way into this.

# 2- Understanding and being clear on my relationships to those in my life who are most important.  

The number one piece in this is having a conversation and knowing our mutual expectations for gift giving. Do they expect gifts?  Have we talked about it?  Can we talk about it?   Understanding others expectations is so important and helpful.   It prevents us from giving out of obligation and helps understand why we are giving.   Gifts are  a beautiful thing when we care about people.  When we give without expectation we can feel a different emotional connection to ourselves and to the other person. 

# 3- Taking a moment to look at how you were raised when it comes to giving gifts and if this still resonates with you.

Often times we can take on our family beliefs without even realizing it.   We can give gifts or feel like we are expected to based on how our family feels or thinks.   Knowing this is important for determining how you want to move forward and decide what is yours and what is not. Of course this can bring up emotion and conflict and it can also bring up immense clarity. Part of your path is understanding what is truly your own and what you may have taken on subconsciously. When we start to have this conversations it is only naturally for people to get emotional. Remind yourself of your intention and have compassion for where others may be at in their own process.

# 4- Trusting yourself with your approach and riding the waves. 

If you are choosing to embark on this process know that challenges will arise as it might be different than what you have done before. Being uncomfortable is part of process :) Trust yourself to know what is right for you.  And the next time you go to buy a gift see if you can pause and give yourself a moment to check in.  See what arises.  There are many ways to connect with others. Physical gift giving is one form. Check in to see if what you desire is actually deeper than a gift. Maybe it is another person’s presence or maybe it is an unmet desire. Give yourself permission to be present to it all no matter how uncomfortable it may be. Our timing is always our own.

Happy Giving!