Making space for curiosity with networking
I recently sat down with a past guest from my podcast who had reached out about working together to share content. And I had to stop myself because I realized my mind did not immediately go to what can I get or what does this person really want from me?
It did not go right to the space of transactional thinking.
I had to pause for a moment and even reflect back to this person how much progress this truly was for me.
I remember not so long ago when I started my business I was always in the space of what can I get from this person. Why does this person want to really meet me? And how is this going to be worth my time? I spent a lot of time meeting with people with no real intention or focus and found myself in these places of judgement and regret more often than not.
Constantly feeling like everyone was out to get me and I had no way of changing it.
And I began to get bitter with this concept of networking. It felt like a messy game I did not want to play.
And then I started to see a shift. The shift was not magical and it was not immediate but it was something I was aware of for myself and something I wanted to take responsibility for and to change.
And so I decided to try something different. What if I went into these meetings with the intention of being open to possibility instead of filled with judgment and anger.
Curious to what might be possible but allowing myself to release the expectation that something had to happen. Without viewing it as a transaction or a good or bad use of my time. Now what I did know for sure is I wasn’t going to say yes to everything. I needed my boundaries to be clear and to trust my yes and no. What I learned through this practice is I became softer. I didn’t have all this anger when nothing became of the connection or it didn’t go anywhere. And to be honest how could I really know for sure. Things can and do take time.
And so I wanted to share my top five Tips to networking to help build a meaningful business and life.
#1- Get curious and stay curious. When you go into a meeting with someone let go of the idea that you need to get or give. Let yourself be open to the possibility of what is possible. You can still have an intention and a reason for the meeting but don’t let that become your everything. When we are so focused on this it creates attachment and moves us into the space of naming something good or bad based on the outcome.
#2 - Have boundaries. I mentioned this above because boundaries are everything. Check in with yourself and know when something is not for you. This is hard especially if you are getting started in your business. It is so easy to want to say yes to all networking because it seems like it could be helpful. When you trust yourself and you trust your own intiution your boundaries become a reflection of that. Stand in your power and your truth.
# 3- Don’t make it so black and white. It is great to have boundaries but often times I have seen people say things like I will never meet with anyone for free anymore I just don’t have the time. The reality is you do have the time you just don’t beleive it is worth your time. As if assuming that if someone wants to meet with you for 30 minutes they are getting something. It is moving you back into the transactional place. No matter where you are on your journey I believe it is so important to be open to new connections and to allow the possibility to unfold.
#4- Be truthful in your Ask. If your intention for networking is to want to share something you are doing so that someone else might help you promote it then be honest up front. Don’t pretend you don’t have an ask when you do. Essentially be honest and upfront. I have always appreciated the people who tell me right away I want to get together for this. And when I have had people pretend like they just wanted to connect and end up pitching me some thing it feels gross. It is an absolute turn off. So just be honest up front and clear the air and then stay in that place of curiosity and openness for the possibility of how the conversation could unfold.
# 5- Trust your Authenticity and Timing. Connections come in many different forms and you don’t always how or when they will reappear. And if you are honest, authentic and truthful in each connection the timing will be perfect. Things will weave in and out and connections will come and go and one connections may lead to another. You don’t know exactly how it will all unfold and the more you try to figure it out the less you will be able to. So trust yourself and be yourself.
The biggest gift I take from this is that I have less judgment and less criticism and I am able to be in conversations and be totally present to what unfolds and for that I am forever grateful.
Wanting to explore this more?
I go into a deeper dive in podcast Episode # 110 if you want to learn more.